I'm Not Getting One

There's one question I get on a regular basis, almost. No, it's not "Wow, I love that shirt, where did you get it?" or "Do you realize how cool you are?" or anything like that. It's always, "Do you have a FaceBook?" And when I promptly answer no, I am then commanded/begged to get one. The answer is always the same. No. So, let's take a break from our lives and take a moment to find out why Michaela is not opening a FaceBook account.

• I Don't Want One
  This is the most obvious and biggest reason I don't haven't opened a FaceBook account. I don't want one. See, the problem is, is that the person who tells me I should open a FaceBook account is someone I probably wouldn't friend anyway. So I say I don't want one, and then they say, "But you could keep in touch with me." I really don't want to have this conversation with a person because there's no way I can word it without sounding like a jerk. But, to put it simply and bluntly: Just because we were friends in school, doesn't mean I want to know what you're doing after we lose touch. Got it? You think I'm being rude? Wait five years and then try to remember who I am. 80% of the people I am "friends" with now, won't know who I am. All FaceBook does is hinder the letting go process that is supposed to take place after high school. There are the few friends you keep in touch with, but everyone else you're supposed to forget. You shouldn't need to read about what that guy you sat next to in English three years ago is having for breakfast. Simple as that. I don't want to be in the position to tell people I don't care about what they do every second.

• I Have Few People to Keep in Touch With
  Ok, so if you're reading this, you might be a person I would like to keep in touch with after high school, at least for a little while. Or for as long as possible if you're a family member. Here's the thing, I love how FaceBook helps people keep in touch with family they hardly ever see and that sort of thing. It's not like I hate FaceBook, although I have said that in the past. It's the misuse of it (i.e. updating statues way too much, posting things no one cares about, etc.) and all the stupid people on it that I hate. There are family members I have that live far away, and it would be great to keep in touch with them. But since I hardly see them, I don't really have this close bond with them, and don't feel really motivated to know what they're doing every minute. I can always call or write to them, which seems much more affectionate anyway. A family member who only talked to me through FaceBook would never really have a real relationship with me. That, and if someone from high school found me on FaceBook and sends me a request, they might be upset if I didn't accept. Some of these people have my phone number and may explicitly ask me why I won't accept their request. I don't want to have this conversation with them, as discussed above. Why? Because this is my answer: If I did open a FaceBook account, I would only be friends with family members, or people I know. So pretty much, if I've only known you for a school year, and/or never associated with you outside of school, I'm not accepting your friend request. Since very few people use FaceBook for people they really know (apparently, considering how many people have asked me to get one), they might take this as that I don't like them or don't care about them. Whether or not that's true doesn't matter. And if I don't accept these people as friends, me having a FaceBook account would be pointless to them anyway because they only wanted me to get one so they could friend me. So what's the point?

• Teens Have Their Own Stereotype On FaceBook
  This is a pretty small reason, but it's almost a stereotype for teens to open a FaceBook account. And the reputation we have is not good. If a teen tells an adult they have a FaceBook account it's more like "Oh you're one of those teens." But if an adult tells another adult they have a FaceBook account, it's more likely they use it in a professional way (although not always) and so it is more "accepted." I don't really want to be cast as one of those teens. I tried Twitter, and it didn't end well, because I became that stereotype. Even though I'm not thirteen anymore, I still don't want that to happen again.

Conclusion: What? You missed the entire rant and skipped to the conclusion? You ruined the experience. Well, fine, I'll humor you. I'd open a FaceBook account to keep in touch with people I really know, which does not include people I only knew in school. Since the only people that want me to get one are people I know in school, I see no point because I wouldn't friend them anyway.

Questions? Comments? Fine, you can comment on this post if you want and go on and on about how I need a FaceBook account. But you probably won't change my mind. Once I'm set on something, only undying logic can change me. And I see few things logical about me opening a FaceBook account. I have a place for my thoughts. That's what this is.

Ok, if I sent you here because you won't stop asking me about opening a FaceBook account, then I really don't want to have this discussion again. Now that we're on the same page, we can move on.

Right?