Guitar Lessons 5: Burst of Inspiration?

So, I'm not really sure if this happens to all great artists or just the weird ones, but when I was playing my guitar a line of a song popped in my head. An original line. It came out of nowhere, it just hit me.

I've always been the type of person who would stare at a blank sheet of paper until I would get too frustrated to think. I wanted to write a song, but all I could come up with is a poem. Poems are nice and all that, but only a few can actually be turned into songs.

So anyway, I started forming this song in my head. It was actually a pretty common theme. It was about a girl (spoken of in third person) who was never told she was beautiful, so she feels worthless. This person isn't supposed to be me, but I get mad at the fact that the media has screwed everyone up. Lots of girls and guys alike feel worthless. I hate that. So this is a subject that has been on my mind a long time.

The lines to the song came really easy to me. Which was exciting, but also kind of freaked me out. I mean, would I feel the same about this song in twenty-four hours? I've also been the type of person to write songs in a couple hours and then hate it the next day. So when the lines just started flowing (and rhyming), all I could think was, "Is this going to sound really stupid tomorrow?" However, I wrote everything down anyway, tweaked it a little, and added simple chords to make a tune. Then I went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up and immediately looked at these lyrics I wrote down in a frenzy. Surprisingly, they still looked decent. I redid the tune of the bridge (which I still think sounds...off) and played through it a couple of times. The song didn't sound terrible. It wasn't the best song because I can barely play guitar, but it was better than other songs I wrote as a twelve/thirteen year old (don't ask...those are terrible). I kept playing through it, making minor changes until I was totally happy with it, for the most part.

So then at school on Monday, these lyrics were still circling my brain because I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell people or not. I'm not sure why, it's not like it was a secret. But not all reactions I would get would really motivate me to have them listen to it. So I kept quiet until sixth period. Then I just told this friend of mine randomly that I wrote a song in ten minutes. He asked what it was about, so I told him. He knows my style of writing, so he said, "Why does everything you write have to be so depressing?" For some reason, I laughed, and talked with him about how girls felt worthless even though they shouldn't be. He totally agreed with me, and talking with him made fury toward that attitude of girls rise again. Then I wanted to record it.

So I did.

It took me a good fifteen tries before I got it right. Twice I dropped the pick. That was embarrassing. And the final recording is in two parts because I ad to redo the ending and I did not want to start over. Again.

Anywho, I emailed the sound file to myself and am going to show it to a girl in my Sno-Isle class who also plays guitar and complimented me on my voice when I had her listen to my Jar of Hearts cover. For the record, I didn't tell her I was singing before she listened to it, so I'm assuming the compliment was genuine.

I wish I could post sound files on here, but alas! I cannot. So to all five of you who read this thing, I'll have to force you to listen to my sucky guitar playing individually. Wait...I think I just proved the theme of the song I just wrote. Well, what do you expect?

This is me we're talking about.

Things I'll Never Get: What is Success?

In order to fully understand this, you need to have an idea of what success is to you. When someone says, "He is a very successful man," what images or ideas is fill you mind? It depends on how you were raised, I suppose. It also depends on what country you live in. But in order to think about this, you need to already have an idea of success in your mind.

When the typical American thinks of a successful person, what usually comes to mind is a financially stable person with a good home and loving family. What I wonder is how many of those people actually exist. I know they're out there, but it seems like a lot of families has one of those aspects but lacks others. For example, financial stability usually requires long working hours for one or both parents. So this could easily mean that the child doesn't get the attention they require. Of course, if the child is older, that required attention goes unnoticed by them. If this older child grows without attention, they grow independently. This would be a good thing, except this child doesn't know it needs attention. Then when the parents want to have a "family day out," they dread it and are miserable the whole time. The parents may or may not know about this feeling the child has. They may try to hard to "make up for lost time," pushing the child further from them in the process, or they could let the child do what he or she wants. This makes the child happy, but now it doesn't have parental guidance because the child no longer wants it. When that is missing, the child goes to other sources for advice. Maybe they are reliable sources. Maybe not. Would this be considered a loving family? Is success reached?

Of course, you can't take the above scenario completely seriously. It is hypothetical. I know for a fact that not all children are totally unstable and are neglected by their parents. The point is, there are fewer and fewer instances of a typical "successful" American family. Looks are deceiving. 

But the ultimate question is: What is success?

All throughout my years in school, the first thing teachers tell you to do is follow your dreams, stand up for what you believe, etc. The funny thing is, is that as I got older, I realized my teachers had already picked my dreams and beliefs out for me.


Belief Number One: Money is essential.
Dream Number One: I want money.


Belief Number Two: A well-paying job is essential.
Dream Number Two: I must use my money to go through years of college to get this job.

Belief Number Three: Owning a nice house is essential.
Dream Number Three: I must save lots of my money from my well-paying job to get this nice house.

I didn't really see what the big deal was. Was any of it wrong? No. But I had different goals for myself. I was raised to think that what I want to do with my life is my decision. I never really understood why anything different than the above beliefs and dreams was considered a "waste of life" by some people. Is it so wrong?

This comes to the part that I don't get. Society is so hypocritical. Why in the world would you tell children to follow their dreams and do what they believe is right when you clearly already have the idea of "right" in your mind? And if these children decide to go against what you think is right, then it is suddenly wrong, which completely goes against what you just told them.

Perhaps I'm being too judgmental, I probably am. Usually what happens when I get worked up over something is I start venting to a person who thinks logically (pretty much anyone) and they find a hole in my logic and my rant fizzles out into oblivion, and I am left looking stupid. Still, I'd rather be stupid and informed later than being stupid and ignorant my entire life. I've met people who are like that. It's not a pretty sight. Especially since I occasionally meet the ignorant guy who thinks he is so much more right than you and spends his time debating something he clearly doesn't know anything about. Then when you prove him wrong, he refuses to believe it. Yeah, I really don't want to be that person.

Hypocrisy gets me all riled up I suppose. Although I would think I'd be used to it by now.