Things I'll Never Get: This is Why I Don't Date Yet

I love this xkcd comic. Totally true.

I walk into my school, and one my friends runs up to me, happy and beaming. I smile too, just because she is. She opens her mouth and shrieks, "I have the most exciting news!"


"What is it?" I ask excitedly.


"[Boy #6] asked me out! We're a couple now! I'm, like, so excited."


My face falls. Here we go again, I think.

Yes, though I have never dated before, I'm starting to pick up a pattern on how this whole "teen love" thingy works. Fortunately, most of my friends don't go on about the boys they like, but those who do I only pretend to care. I'm not about to say, "He has a girlfriend, he'll never like you!" or "Him? Really? He's ignorant and stupid!"

They usually find out for themselves.

I certainly have nothing against guys or anything. It's just that the girls I know tend to go for guys they won't ever get. I am not able to grasp this concept without having frustration boil through me. I would be less angry about it if the situation tended to work out more, but it usually doesn't. I think my face is permanently scarred from all the facepalms I have done over the years, even before high school.

This whole "love" thing leads to many mistakes that I have observed. These mistakes usually involve something along the lines of heartbreak, betrayal, pain, suffering, all those wonderful things. One of the biggest blunders I've seen is them going back to the same person who hurt them before. Let's make one thing clear: People lie. A lot.

I'm not saying everybody who says they've changed is lying, but sometimes they think they've changed, but they haven't really at all.

Now, this mostly applies to girls. I'm wondering how guys act in the ways of high school dating. Girls tend to be more dramatic when it comes to heartbreak. What do supposedly "tough guys" do who are "supposed" to hide their feelings all the time? Do they feel pain this way? Please let me know...

Before I go, I just wanted to make sure you were clear on my thinking of how this whole dating thing ends up a lot of the time, at least when I'm around. So here, have a chart:

Am I missing anything?

Let me know if this seems inaccurate. I'd believe you more if you are single at the moment and not going through Phase 1 at the moment.

I've lost sleep over this concept. I just don't understand it.